POSTLUDE: Deadpool #11

With Great Power Comes Great Coincidence
Featuring: Deadpool
Release: November 5, 1997
Cover: December 1997
Stan Lee Presents
A Very Special Deadpool brought to you across the Vast Expanse of Space and Time by:
Joe “Marty McFly” Kelly, writer
Pete “H.G. Wells” Woods, penciler
Nathan “Time Traveller(^TM)” Massengill, inker (’90s)
Al “Time by Seiko” Milgrom and Joe “Space Warp” Sinnott, inkers (’60s)
Chris “Sagan” Sotomayor, colorist
R “Timecop” S and Comicraft/Emerson Miranda, lettering
Paul “Time Warp Again” Tutrone, assistant editor
Matt “Time to make the donuts” Idelson, editor
Bob Harrras, time loop
Bob Harras, time loop
Bob Harras, time loop
Bob Harras, time loop
Bob Harras, time loop
Based in part on Amazing Spider-Man #47 by Stan Lee and John Romita, Sr.
Special thanks to Darren Auck, The Bullpen (and all that name encompasses, Patti Dazzo, Ralph Macchio, Kareem Montes, Wilson Ramos, Repro, Pond Scum
And of course Stan and John for allowing This Travesty to Occur
50 pages

Great job copying some text you glorified secretary! Who’s a ?☂^⊗#?

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Amazing Spider-Man #47	Reading order	Daredevil #26

That’s a great dress, Gwen… But it would look a lot better crumpled up next to my bed…

I certainly hope readers of this blog have no doubt what cover is being homaged here.

Last issue, Deadpool and his prisoner Blind Al went the Aquarium. As fate would have it, the Great Lakes Avenge Lightning Rods were also at the Aquarium that day.

So what, you just read the comic and narrate what happens? Can your readers not afford their own comics?

Those who read the introductory post know that my first ever comic Avengers #309 featured the Great Lakes Avengers…

Why would anybody have read that ?=&&*#☂^?

And so I’ve always had a fondness for the team.

Of course you like the lamest ∬=⊗©☂Ω/ superheroes. Who are your other favorites? The Human Fly? Quasar? That
😀%=⊗#Ψ?💩 Superman?

Doorman leaped into Deadpool just as he tried to teleport away with Blind Al. And that’s where this issue picks up.

I know all this because 1997 comics had these helpful fold-out inside covers to help get you up to speed.

You, my friend need to get &💩☂😀. Some nice 😀%//+ *^+&Ψ 💩⊗^☂%Ω and a @Ψ^ 😀☂⊗© and you won’t need this ∬=⊗©☂Ω/ blog anymore.

We pick up where that left off. Deadpool and Blind Al find themselves hurtled… onto Aunt May’s porch.

And then when this *^=☠☂😀 💩** blog is no more, maybe your readers can finally come out of their parents’ basement and get their own 😀☂⊗©**=⊗©Ψ😀.

Now we have been reading 1967 comics, but this comic is from 1997. And in 1997, Aunt May was dead. So how could she be here?

Yeah, but she was alive by 1998. Death in Marvel is about as meaningful as a 5th grader with high standardized test scores. Sure, kid, you have “potential”. Potential to *=⊗© Λ+ ∬💩^ %ΩΨ! Hahahaha!

@#💩^'* ^#Ψ ?Ψ*^ ^#☂Ω/ 💩?%=^ ∬=⊗©☂Ω/ ^@ΨΩ^+ ∬☂↵Ψ +Ψ💩! %&😀*? ^#Ψ!Ψ'* ^@ΨΩ^+ %∬ ^#ΨΛ! Hahahaha!

The comic seems to skip over the part where Deadpool gets beat up by a nun.

What? Who said that? No ∬=⊗©☂Ω/ way is that what happened. I’ll tell you what happened with that nun! First, I ^%%© #Ψ! ^% #Ψ! !%%Λ 💩Ω😀 *☠💩Ω©Ψ😀 ^#💩^ 💩** 💩Ω😀 I ^Ψ&& +%= *#Ψ &☂©Ψ😀 ☂^! And then…

It’s going to be an important plot point that the nun broke the teleporting belt.

@#💩^ 😀☂😀 ^#Ψ ⊗💩ΩΩ☂?💩& 😀% 💩∬^Ψ! #Ψ 😀=Λ☠Ψ😀 #☂* /☂!&∬!☂ΨΩ😀? @☂☠Ψ😀 #☂* 💩**! Hahahaha!

Blind Al reminds Deadpool of the importance of not messing with the timeline. He can’t just murder all the people in the past he wants to murder.

Meanwhile, Kraven is up to stuff. These panels looks suspiciously familiar.

Yeah, that’s because the &💩φ+-💩** artist just straight copied them from some lame old comic. It’s about as original as your stupid blog.

And this one as well.

O# Λ+ /%😀! The whole thing is just copied from a better artist! And I thought Brian Herbert was sad!

When Anna Watson shows up, Deadpool can’t just kill her. Timeline and all that. So they disguise Blind Al as Aunt May and Deadpool uses his image inducer to imitate Peter Parker. May was supposed to move in with Anna that day, so Al has to move in with Anna in her place. Timeline and all that.

So Weasel sticks his hand into Doorman.

Awkward.

And thus sends a message into the past.

The plan is to do something in sync at the same time. So Deadpool has to activate his teleporter exactly at midnight. No idea what the “same time” means across 30 years, but Weasel seems to know what he’s doing.

Unfortunately, the nun broke Deadpool’s teleporter when she beat him up.

I told you! That is not what ∬=⊗©☂Ω/–

Deadpool realizes Weasel was a college classmate of Peter Parker’s and part of the same science club! Maybe past Weasel can fix his teleporter. After all, he’s the one who built it. Deadpool decides to continue impersonating the loser Peter Parker to find Weasel and get his help. To avoid questions, he needs to lure the real Peter Parker away.

Or kill him. But killing him might damage the timestream.

Wait… “Peter Parker” walks past Kraven but didn’t before. Who knows what butterfly effect that could have on the present?

The real Peter reflects on what a “groovy” day it is.

You can tell we’re in the past because of the phone booths.

“Life is Wowsville, Man?” I don’t believe people spoke like that, let alone thought words like that. And people say my language is bad!

I thought the professor bore some resemblance to Professor Warren. But he is clearly identified as Professor Lee. Perhaps he’s meant to resemble Stan Lee. Though Stan was not yet sporting his moustache in 1967. A Professor Lee will show up in a Spider-Man comic about a decade after this Deadpool issue, along with a Professor Kirby. Perhaps the same professor?

Harry Osborn shows up. “Peter” doesn’t understand Harry’s words. Or his hair.

Looks like somebody tilled the hair and is ready to plant seeds in it.

Earlier, you called him “Brillo-head”.

“Brillo-head.” That’s a better one.

Weasel’s machine explodes and he suspects Parker sabotaged it. Is this his super-villain origin story? Will he become Dr. Doom?

And hey, here’s another of those swipes. But notice it’s now Blind Al imitating Aunt May.

And then Mary Jane shows up, just like in the sacred timeline.

They get a lot of mileage out of one panel. Reversing it, so it looks like MJ has twirled while dancing. But also the background has reversed.

Yeah, late ’90s Marvel. They’d just declared bankruptcy and standards had sunk to pretty low. Like Mole Man kingdom low.

Is the hair contagious? Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh if it’s a genetic condition.

You know Sandman has basically the same hair.

What’s a sand man?

“Nice head, sir,” is the nicest thing “Peter” can think to say.

That’s pretty darn polite by my standards.

And now we get to Gwen Stacy.

Hubba hubba.

Who is way too young for you.

Notice Weasel has replaced Harry.

Gwen seems to not notice Peter’s unusually risqué banter.

Oh, she noticed. She was into it.

Now this one is interesting. The other repurposed panels have represented the same scene, but now altered thanks to Deadpool’s presence. This panel matches, but for an entirely different scene, now supposedly Spider-Man in New Jersey.

See what I said above about Marvel declaring bankruptcy. They should have declared creative bankruptcy!

Here’s that great page redone. Now with Weasel in the car. And less appropriate banter from “Peter”.

Notice Ned and Betty were cropped out.

In fact, several characters from the original do not appear in this retelling, specifically the cast surrounding the Daily Bugle. Ned, Betty, Foswell, and Jameson & son are all absent.

That’s because they’re even lamer than the cast we did include. And think about that. The bar was Craven and the two sponge-heads, and they couldn’t even clear that.

And now we recreate Gwen’s classic dance scene. Though this time, she’s got a dancing partner.

Good for Weasel! Probably the closest he’s ever been to a woman.

And it’s MJ whose dancing alone.

I had other things on my mind. Couldn’t be stuck in that 1960s #Ψ&&#%&Ψ forever.

Kraven attacks the party, totally killing the vibe.

Deadpool suspects Parker running from a fight will be in character. He’s right, but his reasons are wrong.

What do you mean my reasons are wrong? He’s a wuss, isn’t he? Is there something I don’t know here?

Deadpool decides to save Harry because he’s a hero. Or because he thinks he needs Harry to convince Weasel to fix his teleporter.

Definitely one of those two things.

Which leads to one of the rather fun parts of the issue. Spider-Man is not here now. So Deadpool will fight Kraven. But Deadpool will find himself in very Spider-Man-like poses.

It works because Deadpool’s creator Rob Liefeld says Deadpool was inspired by Spider-Man. That’s the inspiration for Deadpool’s visual design and wisecracking. He wanted a wise-cracking assassin, a murderous version of Spider-Man.

You think I’m like Spider-man?

Well, a poor man’s Spider-Man.

I think Spider-Man’s a poor man’s Deadpool.

I appreciate Deadpool pointing out that Kraven’s name sounds like it means “cowardly”.

Yeah, that was low-hanging fruit.

Now you are just cutting out a bunch of similar looking panels. How much do you get paid for this?

I actually don’t get paid anything. But there’s a little pop-up link in the corner of the page if you feel like donating.

Ha! Yeah right. Maybe I’ll donate some *☠Ψ!Λ!

Enter Norman.

At least he’s wearing a hat this time. I hope he keeps it on.

Here, Deadpool’s right arm is adjusted from Spider-Man’s pose, to allow him to fire a gun at Kraven.

Kraven is offended Deadpool would bring a weapon into a duel of honor.

And I’m offended he’d wear those tights to our duel. But do you hear me complaining?

I’m surprised you didn’t make any cracks about his nipple rays. Even I made a joke about that.

Yeah, I was busy getting paralyzed.

That looks like it hurts. At least it’s not a nun this time.

…

Nothing to say to that? What, somebody sew your mouth shut?

Oh no! The hat came off! Nooooo!

Once again a classic panel is doing double the work with some slight adjustments.

Osborn is falling to his death. In the past, Spider-Man saved him. Will Deadpool do the same?

He does save Norman. Timestream and all that.

I’ve been thinking about this timestream I was supposed to save. That just means that anything we do then could change the world now. But the world now ∬=⊗©☂Ω/ *=⊗©*! I knew I should have bet on some sports.

Just as before, Peter returns after the action is over. But now it’s the real Peter, late for the party due to his detour in New Jersey. He does get to say his goodbye to Flash.

But why is everyone acting like he’s been around all evening?

Deadpool sabotages Weasel’s hopes of a job with Oscorp, introduces him to alcohol, and gets the teleporter fixed.

And Deadpool and Al return safely home, timestream intact.

The comic lets us then read the original Spider-Man story in compressed form for comparison.

The title page was a Forrest Gump homage. I think I get the connection. The film Forrest Gump was famous for using modern editing technology to fit Forrest into classic videos from American history.

Just in the way Joe and Pete edited Deadpool into an old issue of Spider-Man.

What this comic really reminds me of though is an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, “Trials and Tribble-ations”. The episode came out just a year before this comic, plenty of time for it to inspire this issue of Deadpool.

Are you saying we copied them? No, they copied us! But, y’know, time travel and all that *#☂^.

Where they cleverly edited the cast of DS9 into an old Star Trek episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles”.

That episode came out in 1967, the same year as this Spider-Man issue, though later in the year.

At last we’re done here. Please go away now.

∬=⊗© you! You go away. This is my blog now.

BLAM!

Let’s see. What were you planning to read next? Daredevil. ∬=⊗© that lame ?=&&*#☂^. Join us next week as I take you through Playboy issue by issue. Ooh, the first one has Marilyn Monroe! I’ll be in my bunk!

Rating: ★★★★☆, 75/100

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★, 200/100

Characters:

• Deadpool/Peter Parker
• Watcher
• Blind Al/Alfred
• Aunt May
• A nun, perhaps Sister Margaret
• Weasel/Jack Hammer
• Dinah Soar
• Mr. Immortal
• Flatman
• Big Bertha
• Doorman
• Kraven the Hunter
• Anna Watson
• Peter Parker/Spider-Man
• Professor Lee
• Harry Osborn
• Mary Jane Watson
• Gwen Stacy
• Norman Osborn
• Osborn’s butler
• Flash Thompson
• Mr. Hammer
• Mrs. Hammer

Story notes:

• Alarms go off in the Watcher’s citadel on the moon.
• Last issue, Deadpool and Blind Al went to the aquarium on the same day as the Great Lakes Aveng— Lightning Rods. A fight ensued. Deadpool tried to teleport himself and Blind Al away just as Doorman jumped into them. And well…
• Deadpool and Blind Al get hurtled through some colorful stuff and land on… Aunt May? They knock her out and take her inside.
• Deadpool teleports himself to San Francisco. His plans involve tracking down and killing the Great Lakes Avenge Lightning Rods.
• Deadpool tries to teleport to Hellhouse, but instead finds himself at Sister Margaret’s Home for Wayward Girls.
• Weasel has arrived at the Aquarium to study what happened and deduces that Doorman’s power combined with Deadpool’s teleporter sent Deadpool and Blind Al back in time. I guess that explains Aunt May being alive.
• It’s raining because of the events of Heroes Reborn: The Return.
• Mr. Immortal just returned to life from being shot in the head by Deadpool, and is often angry when he does so. Dinah calms him down.
• Flatman recognizes the shoe that spit out of Doorman as a Ferragamo Platform Pump from 1967. Not the type of fact I would expect a heterosexual to know. Flatman claims he studied fashion in college.
• Deadpool got back to Aunt May’s but the nun broke the teleporting belt.
• Deadpool considers what fun he could have with knowledge of the future, but Blind Al warns him not to mess up the timestream.
• Anna Watson is at the door. Deadpool knows what to do. But Blind Al reminds him of the timestream.
• Al pretends to be May and sick and tells Anna not to come in. Anna thinks May is having an episode.
• Deadpool uses his image inducer to disguise himself as Peter Parker, based on a photograph at May’s. And Al puts on May’s clothes and changes her hairstyle to pretend to be May.
• Al/May agrees to move in with Anna as planned to not upset the timestream.
• Weasel sticks his hand into Doorman to send a message into the past.
• If they activate two teleporter units at the same time, Doorman’s portal will stabilize and Deadpool can port back home. But he nun broke Deadpool’s teleporter.
• Deadpool needs past Weasel, then Jack Hammer, to fix the teleporter. So he continues to Peter Parker disguise to get close to him.
• “Peter” calls a phone booth Peter is passing to tell him of danger in Bayonne, New Jersey, that he should alert Spider-Man to.
• Professor Lee needs Jack to assist him with a formula. Jack Hammer hopes Professor Lee will be a reference when he applies for a job at Osborn Chemicals.
• Jack objects to being called Weasel by “Peter”.
• “Peter” gives Weasel the teleporter to fix, but Weasel thinks he is trying to distract him from preparing for the upcoming interview with Osborn Chemicals.
• Weasel’s machine explodes. He thinks Parker sabotaged it.
• MJ shows up to dance. Al thinks she’s an idiot.
• Al’s suggestion is to take Weasel to the party and get him drunk, so he’ll fix the teleportation belt.
• “Peter” gets Weasel invited to Flash’s party. Weasel seems to love Gwen and is nervous.
• Aunt May wakes up to find a scary trap had been left which makes her faint again.
• Aquarium staff angry with Mr. Immortal.
• Since Spider-Man is in New Jersey, Deadpool fights Kraven at the party.
• Deadpool’s healing factor helped him recover from the beam effects.
• Deadpool sabotages Weasel’s attempts to get a job with Osborn by claiming he’s a drunk.
• The real Peter is back from New Jersey and hoping to make the party.
• “Peter” gives Weasel alcohol for the first time.
• In the present, Weasel thinks of Peter Parker for the first time in years.
• Anna puts “May” to bed and Deadpool switches Al with the real May.
• Weasel shows up home drunk at his parents’ and says he’s dropping out of college.
• Weasel did fix the teleporter.
• At midnight, Wade activates the belt and they travel back through time and back through Doorman.
• Deadpool leaves grenades to kill Mr. Immortal again. He’ll be fine.
• Watcher is relieved this is over.
• Watcher lets us read the original comic, quite compressed.

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